Bereavement

Grief is natural, though not easy

Grief is a natural process, it is the price we pay for loving someone. But that doesn’t mean that it is an easy thing to cope with.

To grieve we need to find a way of enduring the pain that comes with the loss, without fighting or blocking it. We must find a way of living with a reality that we don’t want to be true. Finding a way to live with the pain is what helps us to heal.

We do not ‘get over’ a loss, but we can learn to grow round it, we carry that person with us, even whilst we know that they are no longer here.

An unwanted future

Whilst death steals the future we had planned or hoped for, it can’t take away the relationship that we had.

Learning to live with a future we don’t want is the work of grief; being able to remember the happy memories without being overwhelmed by the loss.

How we might feel

We may feel anger, sadness, denial or even depression as a result of a bereavement. Or we can be shocked and numbed, unable to feel anything.

We may even experience guilt for things we said, or did not say; things we did, or did not do. All of this is natural. If you feel that you cannot turn to friends or loved ones then perhaps therapy could help.

Complicated grief

Sometimes grief can be complicated – particularly if we had a difficult relationship with the person who has died.

We have lost the opportunity to repair the relationship and that can make it very difficult to move on.

Who to turn to

It can be very difficult to talk about these issues, others do not know what to say to you, and may even minimise your loss, which can be very traumatic.

It can be a great relief to speak to someone non-judgmental, who really listens and can understand the world from your perspective.